Will this be missed?

Bangkok, 16th May 2023

Its 01.14 am now, lot of things need to do tomorrow.

I did so many things too today, but why I cant sleep peacefully when I need a rest.

So many things happen, want to enjoy this moment till suddenly it just come.

Some random words that construct good question for me, not sure for someone else will also be good enough or not. 

"will this be missed?"

Have you asked that question? I just did.

What is "this" refer to? Every possibility that can be, 

this moment, will it be missed?

This place, will you be misses the place that you are at right now?

Or this feeling that you keep inside your heart. 

This mind, this soul? 

Every this in your life, will be these that will donate memories.

Those memories will build you, to be what you will be.

I think every this will shape you to be different, from before. 

Ntah itu jadi baik atau buruk.

Just remember that you are loved.

Even by yourself its still love right? Or maybe your secret admirer.

ps: you must hear song by mocca with the title is secret admirer. 

It is so good and calming.

The picture is the view from my room's window. I stay at 17th floor

I think thats all that I want to read today. 

Just wasting my time that I dont know what to do because I cant sleep. Love you

3rd May 2023

 Well, hello again.

this is me, the older me, on 3rd may 2023.

maybe in the past "you" (I talk to my self) never imagine that I will write this post far far far... away from home.

Miss home so much till I don't know what willl I feel if I can go back home.

Actually, its not that hard but there will always be thousand reasons that hold me not to go back home.

Bangkok,

Much people love this city, they come to enjoy the place, food, weather, don't know. By the time I cant enjoy this place anymore. So many things happens, mostly not really the good one.

I learnt a lot from you, not only from the place or campus but also from the citizens. Facing uncomfortable moment till it drop me to the bottom of my capacity (which I believe I cant handle those). 

Turn out I still can handle these till now, till the day I write this post.

I want to always remember that "I'm not the only person who suffering in this world, I'm much more lucky than thousand of human being out there. Never forget to be thankful for what you have and be. When its hard just survive and that too will pass. If you feel you cant survive? well, its a bit horrible but all I can say is just try to live your life. Feel it, bad and good it never stay forever. People said life is just like a wheel right? well people said it, not me. Of course if I have a choice I will choose the good one only, don't want the wheel to rotate and turn our position on the bottom. 

Is it bad when we are in the bottom? Let's try to think it together.

Hmmm, from the bottom we can see the world larger from NEW PERSPECTIVE. We can see the view angle that we cant see when we are on top. The angle will effect the view? It will, we will understand everything wiser when we felt miserable. Understand why people doing something ...... need to go because I need to measure the decolorization rate that I already incubate for 6H.

hope I can write again soon. see you